Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Word Choices - Me, Mine vs. Ours, Yours

There is so much we could talk about as it relates to word choices.   I am a big proponent of conscious language.   I have sales courses for business development reps and managers on the use of conscious languaging in the workplace.   I also coach women and mothers on the use of conscious language for self care, but that is another subject.

Right now, I am focusing on interviewing and hiring people into your organization.   Recently I wrote about 'little red warning flags'.   You can read about it here:

https://totaldisplays.blogspot.com/2019/10/little-red-warning-flags.html

The concept, is watching, acknowledging and tracking the little red warning flags that come up during the interview process and with new hires.   Ignoring them can have disastrous consequences.

But, let's talk about word choices. 


Rudyard Kipling once said, "Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.  Not only do words infect, egotize, narcotize, and paralyze, but they enter into and color the minutest cells of the brain . . ."

In this case, I want to speak about ego centric word choices.   When you are in sales, you want to be focusing on your client and/or your prospect, not on yourself. 

Word choices of me, mine vs. ours, yours.   A good sales/business development rep can certainly be arrogant.   It is a fine line between arrogance and disrespect.   As an employer you must learn to spot the difference, ideally, during the interview process.

Watch during the interview or after hiring for language choices.   Here are some examples:

'I would love for you to visit my showroom'.

'I will check with my team and get back to you'.

'I need you to get back to me with your...'

'I suggest you set aside a time to come to my showroom.'

All of these statements exude arrogance and entitlement.   They are not focused on the prospect nor do they show respect of the company or the company's team members. 

Even as the business owner, I would never use language like that.  I would typically say, 'I would love for you to come visit our showroom, or I would be happy, if more convenient, to come to your office to meet you and your team.'  Change the 'I suggest' (me centric) to 'You should'

Every one of his emails?   The subject line was, "'Joe Blow' at Total Displays".  Email subject lines should entice you to open and read an email.   Does anyone really think that subject line is going to make do that?   No wonder his sales numbers were so low.  That subject line could not be more "me" centered. 

Another language issue to be aware of, is an employee that regularly does not call another staff member by name.   We had a recent example, where an employee would regularly refer to me, the business owner, and his boss, as 'she', 'her', and the worst one?  'The wife'.   If an employee is unable to talk about another co-worker or boss by name.   That is a HUGE red flag indicating respect issues.  If you EVER hear things like this, run, run far, far away!


If you listen carefully and start to be aware of tone, word choices and so much more, you can perhaps head off employee issues early on.   My biggest advice is to listen for all the me-centric language and conversation during the interview.   Is everything about the candidate?   Are they always sharing stories that don't relate to you, your company or the position for which you are hiring?  


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Lori Hanken has been in sales and marketing for over 30 years. She is passionate about service and providing value to her vendors, prospects and clients. Lori is currently co-owner of Total Displays with her husband David. They help people look great at events, trade shows, in retail, museums and develop long partnerships with customers and suppliers. If you would like to learn more, email her at lori@totaldisplays.com. She is an open networker, connect with her on LinkedIn here.

Read other Total Displays Blog posts at http://totaldisplays.blogspot.com/
You can also check out our website at www.totaldisplays.com


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